Being Grateful For (My/) The Eating Disorder?!

Background story

In elementary school at around age 12, I had problems with classmates and I never really fit in. I was simply different than the majority.

I love video games (and Manga & Anime in the past) and have a foible for Japanese culture since I was a kid.

Therefore, I often hid my interests because I was too afraid of being judged.

I tried to fit in & haven’t listened to my intuition (I didn’t know what this even is at that time).

The first time I felt fat was around age 14…And my grades dropped – my self-confidence was non-existent.

Even though I changed schools in grade 9 I carried traumas from the past with me and the wounds were deeper.

I thought being skinny would solve my problems…

 To make the long story short

After hitting rock bottom at age 18 I have learned so much about how our body works.

Without my eating disorder:

  • I hadn’t chosen the path of self-love

  • Wouldn’t have discovered spirituality & the Law of Attraction

  • Wouldn’t be where I am now and the person with all the experience, I gained over the years

  • And so much more…

If you haven’t, listen to the full topic on my newest episode and don’t forget to leave a 5* review!


The Importance Of Becoming Your Own Best Friend

In this episode, I'm talking about as you can take out of the title "being your own best friend". A huge part, if not the foundation of it is self-love. Unconditional self-love.

When someone is lacking confidence and love for themselves, they are more likely at the risk of making them conditional on others, or even co-dependency when we are talking about relationships.

They feel another person could fill a void they can’t seem to fill themselves. And tada, the toxic relationship cycle begins.

What is emotional dependency?

If I should explain it, I would say it’s making your wellbeing, worth, happiness, etc. dependent on others. People with rather low self-esteem, or who don’t feel worthy (enough) are more at a risk to “suffer” from this.

A typical sentence from someone who’s emotionally dependent on someone could be “I can’t live without this person.”.

I used to make sure to make this person happy at any cost while neglecting my own needs.

A person experiencing this issue is afraid of being alone or better said being lonely. As they fear to get in touch with their thoughts, needs, and problems. Putting it aside is easier but will only hurt them in the longer run.

To make this short – everyone who ever had experiences with this is lacking self-love.


But how to get out of it?

This is just a basic overview, but the main steps are.

-Be aware of it – and that you might have stepped into this pitfall

-Is it a romantic or platonic relationship? The latter could be a friend, or the most difficult one (in my opinion) a family member, such as a parent.

-Write down WHY you (think you) need them & then think about how you could fill these voids on your own.

These questions can help to identify your areas needing improvement:

→ What are you missing out on?

→ Which part of you missing is filling this person?

→ What are you afraid of?

→ What’s missing without this person?

If it’s a romantic relationship, depending on the degree of dependence, it’s vital to spend more time on your own or it’s worst (like in my case) to leave this relationship. It’s like living with an eating disorder, you can’t heal in the same space that made you sick.

It will take time and you won’t love yourself overnight as it’s a process that hurts sometimes.

Anyway, you have 2 choices either live the rest of your life unfulfilled, playing small or go through periods of pain, discomfort and giving yourself time & coming out of it stronger than ever, ready to whatever you set your mind to. Your life is in your own hands. I believe in you!


Do you still feel lost and need more support? 

 In my podcast, I’m also talking about how my first love / romantic relationship ended up in a very unhealthy situation. I know how painful this is, and you don’t have to go through this alone.

I’m more than happy to talk to you and support you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you like the podcast please leave me a 5* review. That would be amazeballs!